You might be a school employee if
 

..you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

..you want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off."

..it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.

..you can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

..you believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card.

..you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

..when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

...you have no social life between August and June.

..you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

..you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce!

..you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."


..you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

..you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form